I teach reading and writing for a living. Words matter to me. The combinations of words that make some of my favorite novels have the ability to carry me to another world. Words have the ability to make me laugh, cry, cringe, pout, celebrate, and stand in awe – a myriad of emotions. Words can help to build up or they can quickly tear down.
I teach middle school students. The words I hear…the self-talk…it often breaks my heart. The students, they tell themselves they aren’t good enough or that they don’t matter. They tell others that they are “stupid” or “annoying”. They hurt, in part, because of words. There is no need to recount moments like that. But, they also heal a little. The smile I got today from a student because I told him I was proud of his focus today…it was worth the effort for praise. The lift of the shoulders I saw in one student because another offered to help her pick up her books…it was encouraging.
Be sure, though, that it isn’t only students (kids) who are impacted by words. Adults are profoundly impacted by words, as well. We say things to and about one another without measuring the impact. We often use our words without regard for how they will be received.
When I was in 7th grade, my siblings and I sang in church. After the service, I followed them out and heard someone talking about how amazingly talented they were. I reached the person talking, and he said, “You’ll be good one day.” In that moment, I knew that I would never be good enough to sing like my brother and sister. In retrospect, it propelled me into finding other things in which I could excel.
There are other instances where words cut me deep. Most recently, I was told I was “adequate”. I looked up the synonyms for that word – words like: acceptable, fair, satisfactory, tolerable, decent, passable, unexceptional.
One of the things I teach my students is the difference between the denotation of a word (literal meaning) and the connotation of a word (feelings evoked by). The denotation of the word “adequate” is: as much or as good as necessary for some requirement or purpose. For me, the connotation of the word “adequate” is: not good enough.
The reality is, I am a grown woman. I know how to take those words that cut deep and work to turn them into better words. The reality also is that these words weren’t weighed before they were said…and they cut, because I am at a place where I didn’t need to hear words like these.
So I circle back around to my students. And not just my students. I want to circle this back around to every person. We need to be speaking LIFE to one another. We need to be speaking words of LOVE and ENCOURAGEMENT to each other. I tell my students on a regular basis:
We don’t know what is going on in each other’s heart and mind on a given day. That is why it is so important to BE KIND to one another. We need to work to build one another up.
Because each of us is more than adequate. I am more than enough…and so are you!
Learning is a Journey 